A debate broke out recently between the camps of The Rebbetzin Rocks and my wife (on one side), and myself and Rebbetzin’s husband on the other. The disagreement? Whether or not Valentine’s day is observable from a Jewish perspective.
Turns out that Rebbetzin’s Hubby is staunchly anti-V-Day, along with Halloween, St Patricks day and a few others.
Now, back in October, I found supporting opinions that made Halloween less of a conflict, if you don’t count the years when the actually trick-or-treating doesn’t start on Shabbat. So far, for Valentine’s Day, I got nothing though.
So I’m offering this token of male solidarity. It doesn’t mean I think it will help though. As Gertie Giggles famously said in the second Spy Kids movie “You’re fighting a girl. You’re gonna lose”. (OK, I admit that maybe the second Spy Kids movie is only famous in my house.)
Valentine’s Day is not a Jewish holiday.
That’s why I didn’t buy you flowers.
I was thinking just of you,
I know you’re proud to be a Jew.
It’s a most confusing 24 hours.
No I can’t be what I ain’t,
and a day named for a saint
doesn’t seem to be a kosher celebration.
Oh but when Purim comes we’ll nosh
on special heart-shaped Hamantashen
and drink Mogen David wine for our libation.
It’s a Hallmark holiday,
that is all that I can say.
I don’t know why you think it’s so essential.
Besides at 80 bucks a pop
a dozen roses doesn’t sound so hot
what’s the point of getting so sentimental?
No I didn’t buy Godiva’s,
’cause the increase in your dress sizes
from eating chocolate makes you weep and makes you wail.
So open up the bedroom door,
don’t make me sleep here on the floor.
I’ll buy perfume for you next week when it’s on sale!