TABLET: How to atone like a child

Marjorie Ingall over on just posted this great short piece which has me wondering what her maiden name was, and if she sat behind me when I was growing up at Brith Emeth. Or last year, for that matter.

Click here to check out the full article. But here are some excerpts I thought hit close to home:

Gently kick the back of the pew in front of you. Kick rhythmically to the cantor’s chanting, until your mother suddenly clamps her hand on your knee.

Stare into the Eternal Light until your eyes begin to water. Imagine it is a gateway to another dimension.

Attempt to count the number of Fannys and Isadores on the memorial plaques on the sanctuary walls. Try to find the funniest name.

[LEON SAYS: No contest. “Lulu I. Woodle”]

Rub the velvet on the pew so all the nap goes one way. Then rub it so that the nap goes the other way. Then write DOODY in the nap with your finger and erase it.

Debate slipping the comic book inside your sweater into the mahzor. Maybe your mom will be too hungry to kill you.